Thursday, January 7, 2010

eh


just another sunday paddleboat ride
on a man made lake with another lady stranger
if i remain lost and die on a cross
at least i wasn't born in a manger
i can sense somewhere right now i'm being prayed for
seems like i always arrive on the same shore
from where my sails set maybe with one less lady
than my vessel left with, is that a threat
oh i've stayed scarce this last year yes
but be assured in unrest
i'm unavoidable like death this christmas
is this twisted why be upset
i never said i didn't have syphillis miss listless
hard like the bricks i pound my fists with
i mean she's hard like the bricks that i pound with my fists

this is the fall of mr fifths
forged for the hordes
and the ladies and lords
cept the fat cords in modern english
i know, i know
there's nothing more revealing
than the sound of high heels
down the marble tile hallways
of your distict's one allotted
city funded steiner school bilingual
or montessori followed by
a single high pitched scream
followed by breaking glass
but could your anger be mapped
into an interpretive dance
to a trip hop track
could it be bowed out on strings
or strung into a pattern
for a god's eye to bring to
your alma mater's holiday fundraiser boutique thing?

god i'm sorry, i'm just being crazy.
i'm sorry. i'm just being crazy, i know.
i'm gonna take you now, k? you're fine.
everything's totally fine.
feel a lot better now.


why? - the fall of mr. fifths

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

reconsider





let's become diamonds;
let's become gold.
let's learn to keep on goin';
and never grow old.
let's never die, oh, oh.
let's just shine, shine, shine;
all day, and all of the time.

let's become stories;
let's become ghosts
let's learn to hold on close;
to those we love most.
let's never die, oh.
let's just shine, shine, shine;
all day, and all of the time.

let's become water;
let's become stone.
let's learn to tear ourselves away from our skin and bones.
let's never die, oh.
let's just shine, shine, shine;
all day, and all of the time.

let's become diamonds.
let's become gold, gold.
let's learn to keep on goin';
and never grow old.
let's never die, oh!
let's just shine! shine! shine! shine!


-Diamonds by A Sides


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

blatant clothing lust





I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby











time for a european vacation this summer



"Clothes and manners do not make the man, but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance." - henry ward beecher

just



how we can believe that we are the co-star or at least
the mysterious antihero in someone's life story,
when in fact we are simply an extra
and always have been and always will be,


it's beautiful the way our egos can deflate.


Arcade Fire gets it:
(Cars and Telephones)

I read the pages about me
In her autobiography
They were brief and to the point
A flash, while you are getting dressed
A memory that needs to be repressed
I'll just wait until it's over

Since you've gone away
I never know just what to say
Since you've gone away
I never know just what to say

Cause I like cars more than telephones
Your voice in my ear makes me feel so alone
Tonight I'm gonna drive
The silver moon is shining bright
Over the interstate
God saying hurry don't be late
Soon the sun will rise
That's when the romance dies
And I'm just tired of running around

I walked
To get the mail today
I guess
Your letter never came
I'll just
Check again tomorrow

A flash while you are getting dressed
A Memory that needs to be repressed
I'll just wait without saying a word

Since you've gone away
I never know just what to say
Since you've gone away
I never know just what to say

Cause I like cars more than telephones
Your voice in my head makes me feel so alone
Tonight I'm gonna drive
The silver moon is shining bright
Over the interstate
God saying hurry don't be late
Soon the sun will rise
That's when the romance dies
And I'm just tired of running around

But fuck it I love you even if
I'm gonna feel like shit
By the time I get to you
Now the sky is turning blue
The stars they disappear
One by one as the daylights nears
And yes you're in my head
But that doesn't make you here
And I've lost all my friends
But you're the one I miss the most
And now I'm almost there
Yeah I'm almost to the coast
And if I had any notion
Of how I'm gonna drive my car across
the Atlantic Ocean,
I'd be fucking set.


Saturday, January 2, 2010

I can never sleep anymore and I've watched all the stupid comedies I can think of and reread every book on my shelf too often to even contemplate another try, so there's not much else to do but lie in bed, adjust the covers and try to race my thoughts to sleep. I usually fail.


apart from wishing i could dream of these always,
here is something new and not very exciting
(truth be told, it's quite derivative, but i'm trying not
to fall too much in love with postmodernism)


profound and Latinate the words are coming

life:

the word is empty, trite, passé.

a portrait of a portrait,

the details lost in the faded paints.

a biological construct:

heartwaves, brainbeat -

reduced to the most basic functions,

it soldiers on in trenches and on sidewalks.

maybe old dictionaries

that smell like rusty water

hold the meaning to the words that fill our heads

and library books

with magnetized spines and scoliosis

open to the pages hasty fingers plucked at,

the passages adolescent dreamers underlined

eight- nine- ten-word sentences

of sympathy and regret

as defined in language, life is simply

another four-letter word (two consonants, two vowels)

as defined in living, life is all

but some nights driving blind down the denim freeway,

overpasses humming,

clinging to the sky,

shading the cement bandages

that stripe earth,

burned and blurry with the vestiges

of wisdom,

well,

the moonlight on the water:

maybe that's it.